It appears that most sex bloggers, including all of those I read, do not support monogamy. Most of them believe that it’s somehow unnatural or something. I suppose this means I am the minority.
After my faux marriage ended, I had the Consultant, who unknowingly awakened a previously dormant monster inside me that had an insatiable hunger for sex. The monster consumed me, and if I did anything it was only to feed the hungry beast. My offer was constant fucking, my only term was that it be exclusive. He confused my desire to constantly ride and suck his perfect, delicious, beautiful member with a desire to be his girlfriend and he ran away. When I couldn’t get it from him anymore I used what I learned from him – that it was undesirable to be monogamous.
I found a new plaything, dabbling around with others all the while. I was on a constant prowl, and no matter how much I got it was never enough. Then I met the Unmarried Man, and learned very quickly that I didn’t enjoy fucking someone if I couldn’t be the center of his attention. I began seeking lovers who fit that criteria…and then one of my admirers got hurt.
Oops. I felt like a real connasse. I decided it wasn’t worth hurting someone over sex that wasn’t that great anyway, since I wasn’t really totally into the people I was fucking.
Then I met the young one with the deliciously sick, twisted mind. Oh, his timing could not have been better! I was looking for someone to whom I could devote myself and still come out with a minimum average of three orgasms in a day. If he couldn’t be there himself he certainly made sure to provide adequate inspiration. And I was happy to be inspired–after all, I was under strict orders to cum when called! As I was drawn further and further into my admiration for him I severed all ties to other men. I became his, constantly under his doting supervision. The tighter his hold on me became the happier I was. And we both let it go on too far before he told me what I already suspected, that I wasn’t the only one. The crushing weight of the jealousy and the damage to my self-confidence that followed made me understand all too well that I am a monogamous woman.
I can see merit in “polyamory,” but to me it’s really just a synonym for ‘noncommittal.’ I desire commitment, especially if I’m seeking a partner with sadistic tendencies. I don’t want someone choking me unless we’re committed to each other. I mean, if he’s not committed to me, what’s to stop him from taking it a step too far and crushing my larynx? I know that sounds extreme, but seriously, I need to trust someone a lot to do some of the things I enjoy doing.
Now see here though – once I’m committed and partnered and trust implicitly there’s room for dalliance. Like… Say my partner asked me to have sex with someone else while he watched. Provided I’m attracted to that person, sure. I’d be game. But affairs outside of our coupledom? No way, Jose. If he wanted to be with another woman, I’d better get to pick her, and I’d better get to be there.
I’ll give up my power to him, but it comes at a price, and I don’t really think monogamy is that much to ask. It’s the only surefire way to make sure nobody gets hurt, specifically, moi. I should make the earth move under his feet anyway. I should be sa meilleure Jouissance!
