After I met the ex I was so caught up being in love that I forgot how much fun it is to just…you know…play. The Consultant has opened up a whole new door for me. I have the most lurid thoughts racing through my brain again…
It hasn’t been like this in years.
He told me that when he first penetrated me it was like popping a balloon. A tear squeezed out of the corner of my left eye and I moaned “God, I needed this…”
I did!
I had an epiphany at that moment. I remembered there and then, on his tiny couch in his tiny apartment, what it feels like to be a woman, to be sexy, to fuck. He half pushed me, half carried me into the bedroom, whispering that he wanted to make me come and marveling over my completely-bare Brazilian wax job. Later, when I went down on him I was excited to have his cock in my mouth where with the ex giving head had been a chore. It was purely a selfish gesture; I was hoping I could tease him and excite him and get him harder so it would be that much better the next time he fucked me.
The awesome feeling I got, that amazing sexual high, I mistook for emotional attachment. It took a few days for me to get my bearings and remember that I left the ex so I could have these experiences and that I want to have them with lots of people, both men and women. The Consultant happens to be a great person in general in addition to being deliciously cute and fuckable, so that didn’t help any when it came to my emotional confusion.
I still don’t know. Do I want a friend out of him or do I just want to put on some hot lingerie and tease his cock until he shudders with pleasure? I’m starting to think maybe the latter, but it would be nice to have both. I hope he’s into that.
I can’t wait until Thursday – I have an appointment at the lady doctor and hopefully they’ll either put me on the implant or give me an IUD. Condoms suck. Spermicidal condoms suck even worse – they made me itchy! Gross!
